5 Craziest Moments In Shakespeare’s Plays
Alexis Stakem
Staff Writer
Shakespeare’s plays contained two things: iambic pentameter, and random lion attacks in the French woods, which, heads up Shakespeare, is where lions definitely shouldn’t be However, Shakespeare didn't limit himself to just mere lion attacks—no, this man was an overachiever. He wrote about men getting chased off stage by bears, men competing in the first ever game show in order to win a hot wife (who’s secretly a lawyer), and people unknowingly committing cannibalism. Now, even though those examples may seem intriguing (or something that would cause one to want to bleach their eyeballs), there are six iconic scenes that will make one think, “Wait a second—this is performed in public?” So, come along on a journey through what was clearly Shakespeare’s lifelong fever dream.
5. Hamlet Attempts To Flirt
In Act 2, Scene 1 of Hamlet, Hamlet shows the audience how to win the ladies 16th century style. At the beginning of the scene, Hamlet’s ex-lover, Ophelia, enters and tells her father, Polonius, something quite unnerving. Apparently, Hamlet came into her room late at night, grabbed her by the wrist, and stared at her. Yes, Hamlet broke into his ex’s room and stared at her. This technique here is pure genius—girls love guys who know how to commit B&Es and who know how to stare—not casually, but THREATENINGLY. Ophelia explains to her father that Hamlet did this for an inordinate amount of time; however, he eventually left her room but never broke eye contact.
4. A Lion Attacks Someone In France And People Only Seem Slightly Concerned About It
Who hasn’t been out in the middle of France’s woods cross-dressing when all of a sudden someone gets attacked by a lion. Lion attacks are actually such a commonality (especially in France) that this event shouldn’t have even made the list.
3. Hamlet Stabs Curtains And Accidentally Kills A Bystander
At the beginning of Act 3, Scene 3, Hamlet is going to speak to his mother, which will certainly go well and won’t result in any murders. Meanwhile, Polonius tells Claudius (Hamlet’s stepfather, who Hamlet suspects murdered his father) that he will listen to the conversation to see if he can finally figure out why Hamlet is acting one fry short of a Happy Meal. Polonius plans to do this by hiding behind Gertrude’s (Hamlet’s mother, who married Claudius right after Hamlet’s father died) curtains. Once Hamlet arrives, he begins to fire off accusations, these accusations instantly become so heated Gertrude calls for help and so does Claudius. Hamlet, forgetting all logic, begins to haphazardly stab the curtains in the hopes Claudius was behind them. However, he ends up murdering Polonius, which only mildly upsets him.
2. Watch Out Babies- Lady Macbeth Is Coming For You
While many view Lady Macbeth as a harsh and cruel character, she is just a woman who knows what she wants and is willing to take the steps to get there, no matter how bloody the path may be. So when Macbeth is having second thoughts about their plan to murder the Scottish king, it sets her off. She didn’t know she was marrying a ninny, a wisp of a man who was unfit to live and breathe in this world. She thought she was marrying a real man, and one who kept his promises at the very least. During her rant she mentions that if she promised to kill a baby, she would, even if it was breastfeeding.
1. A Mother Eats Two Pies, Then Realizes She Ate Two Of Her Sons
Titus and Tamora are two feuding nobles who love killing each other’s children. So it’s no surprise when Titus kills two of Tamora’s sons and bakes them into pies, and before this paragraph continues can everyone discuss how much dedication went into this plan. It would have been so much easier for him just to murder the sons and be done with it, but no, Titus took the time to kill the children and then make the pie crust, filling, and serve it to Tamora. However, here’s the kicker: it’s not until after Tamora is finished eating the pies that Titus tells her they contain her beloved sons. So let this be a learning moment for kids everywhere, never eat a pie anyone is handing out, it could be blueberry compote, or it could be humans.